Gifts and Gags
by Waywatcher
Summary: One-Shot. A small story about the gifts each Titan receives christmas morning.


**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Teen Titans. All about the gifts the Titans receive from each other Christmas morning. Poor Robin.**

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><p>"Rae, wake up!"<p>

'Go away...'

"C'mon Rae, answer the door at least!"

'I don't want to get up...'

"Don't make me come in there Rae!" Threatens the voice of the resident changeling playfully.

"He can come in any time." Affection purrs inside Raven's head. The empath sits bolt upright and hisses angrily at the emoticlone for the innuendo. She silences the emoticlone and gets Knowledge to watch over her. She mutters her mantra upon completing this in order to focus her mind.

Raven becomes aware of someone counting down on the other side of her door.

"Three, two, on-" Raven's door opens abruptly, revealing a startled Beast Boy. He honestly hadn't expected her to answer.

"You weren't seriously considering smashing down my door?" The empath asks dryly.

"Actually, I kinda was." The changeling answers honestly.

Raven glares daggers at the green boy. "What could possibly be worth getting sent to another dimension?"

"Dragging you out so we can open presents!" Beast Boy almost squeals, something Raven frequently attributes to the local alien.

'Right, it's christmas.' The empath remembers anxiously. 'Presents... I hope mine do okay.'

"Don't look so freaked out! It's not like the ghost of christmas past is gonna sneak up on you!" The changeling jokes happily. He grabs Raven's hand and drags her down the hall, despite the fact she is only wearing a flimsy T-shirt and baggy pants.

Raven sighs. She'll forgive him just this once.

It is christmas after all.

###

"Friend Robin, awaken!" Starfire's bubbly voice pierces the masked teen's slumber. The boy sits up bleary-eyed. He hits his head on the girl hovering right above him.

"Star?!" He shrieks in shock. "Why are you in here? How did you GET in here?"

"Beast Boy said I should do the waking of you for you would not wake on your own. He also said to use "any means necessary"". The alien girl makes air quotes as she says this. Robin notes the smashed door.

Robin growls slightly. "I'm going to have to talk with Beast Boy."

"Please, let not the anger ruin such a glorious day!" Starfire pleads. She looks at Robin with teary eyes and the masked boy gives in.

"Fine... But only because it's christmas!" He asserts.

"Glorious! Let us be off! Beast Boy said to go directly to the tree!" The alien pulls Robin down the hall despite his complaints of not having a shirt on.

###

"Goooood morning everybody!" Cyborg announces as Beast Boy and Starfire drag in their respective targets. "It is christmas morning here in Jump city so let's get right to the important stuff! There will be a feast held afterwards curtsy of your favorite Titan, Cyborg!"

The metallic teen bows as applause sounds through the speakers. Starfire giggles and Beast Boy smiles. Robin and Raven exchange looks, sympathizing with each other's position.

The two birds are dragged over to the tree in the center of the room. Resigning themselves to this activity, the two Titans sit down with their friends as the presents are sorted.

"Who's first?" Beast Boy asks eagerly.

"Me! Me!" Starfire squeals, putting up a hand.

"Go ahead Star." Cyborg says, grinning.

Starfire picks up her first box, it is wrapped in blue paper. Cyborg's present. She carefully unwrap it, making sure not to destroy the present in her eagerness.

The paper falls away to reveal a book. A two-thousand Page book. About... Condiments?

"Dude, where did you find that?" Beast Boy asks in shock.

"Don't ask." Cyborg mutters. He grins at the happy alien. "You like it?"

"Indeed friend Cyborg, I do very much love it!" The girl flips through the pages, locating new treats to try.

"Mine next!" Beast Boy insists. He shoves a light-green parcel towards the alien.

Starfire grabs the present eagerly. She shreds the paper and comes up with a a few small bottles.

Nail polish.

"Raven! We must try these as soon as possible!" Starfire cries. Raven hides her grimace and shoots Beast Boy a dirty look. He returns it with a grin.

"I suppose mine is next." Raven says, presenting Stafire with a rather normal-looking present in red wrapping paper. The alien removes the the paper to reveal...

"Oh, thank you Raven!" The alien cries, lunging at her friend and sweeping her up in a hug. The male Titans lean over to see the present, curious as to what provoked such a reaction.

Five gems, all part of a small picture. One purple, in the form of a raven, one green, depicting a tiger, one blue, showing a bear, one red, showing a robin, and one pink, in the form of a small worm.

The boys smile.

'I knew you had it in you Rae.' Beast Boy thinks to himself as he looks over to the uncomfortable empath.

"Mine last." Robin murmurs, fidgeting. Starfire stops hugging Raven (much to her relief) and accepts the last present. It is far by the smallest of them all.

Starfire delicately unwraps the paper and reveals a small box. Opening it, she pulls out a small necklace, made of silvery green. It has a small compartment in the shape of a T.

Opening the compartment, Starfire can see a small picture of each of the Titans. Robin in the top-left, Raven in the top-right, Beast Boy top-center, herself in the complete center, and Cyborg in the bottom-center.

Starfire tackles the surprised boy in another hug. Raven winces her sympathy.

"Many thanks for my gifts friends!" Starfire gushes, elated.

"Our pleasure Star." Robin says happily.

"Guess I'm up next." Cyborg rubs his hands together. "Let's see what ya got ol Cyborg."

Beast Boy is the first to give his present. A shiny disk.

Cyborg looks at the changeling in confusion and he leans over to whisper something in the half-robot's ear. Cyborg's eyes grow wide.

"No way." He gasps in disbelief. "You managed to get that?!"

"You bet I did!" Beast Boy claims proudly. "Nothing but the best for my buddy."

"You are the man!" Cyborg shouts, he shares a high-five with his shapeshifting friend.

"What is it?" Starfire inquires.

"Only the best thing in the history of video games!" Cyborg announces dramatically. "The complete classics disk! Holder of all the best games ever made, over two-hundred titles of revolutionary ideas!" Cyborg's grin is so large it looks like his face might break. He slides the disk into his chest compartment. "You are staying safe until we can play you." The half-robot informs the disk.

"Mine next! Mine next!" Starfire squeals. Cyborg picks up the the poorly wrapped box with interest.

Hoping it's not an alien concoction, Cyborg pries apart the glue. He eventually manages to liberate a cooking apron with the words "Tofu is an affront to chefs everywhere" written on it.

"Star, you are amazing." The metallic teen says, chuckling. "How did you manage to find this?"

"I made it myself." She says proudly.

Cyborg's eyes go wide. "I didn't know you could sew!"

"I can also do metal-working, weapon forging, armor smithing, carving, weaving..." Starfire goes on to list a large number of techniques. Everyone else just sits there in shock.

"Girl, you are something else." Cyborg says, shaking his head. He is presented with yet another gift.

"Here." Robin says. "It's not much."

Cyborg opens the present to find a new tool set.

"Made out of Titanium. These won't break easy." Robin says.

"Thanks man." Cyborg replies simply. He thumps the boy wonder on the back lightly.

"Guess I'm last." Raven remarks. Muttering a spell under her breath, the air around Raven darkens.

"Victor?" The voice coming out of the sorceress' mouth does not sound like her own.

Cyborg's eyes go wide. "Ma?" He asks in disbelief. "Is that you?"

"Yes." The voice sounds content. "It is good to hear you once more son."

Cyborg chokes out a sob. "I miss you ma, hasn't got any better since you left us."

"You must let it go Victor. Only then will it get better. Forgive your father for his mistakes, family is precious. Once you loose someone, they don't come back. My talk with you now is only due to the intervention of your friend. This is a one-time deal, and a short one at that, don't make my words to you now mean nothing." The voice fades near the end.

"Ma!" Cyborg cries out. "I love you... I won't stop that, never." This is spoken softly.

"Likewise, son." And the voice is gone.

The air around Raven clears and she slumps to the floor. Beast Boy catches her quickly.

Cyborg is silent. He holds back tears of both happiness and sorrow. "Rae sure knows how to choose a present." He whispers quietly.

The others only nod in agreement, not wanting to disrupt the metallic teenager.

And few moments pass before Cyborg speaks up. "No sense spoiling the mood! I say it's Robin's turn next!" The half-robot's aura of fun returns in a flash.

Raven rubs her head and looks around, disoriented. She focuses on the red splotch that is Robin. Her eyesight clears as he opens the first gift. A blue parcel. From the corner of her eye she can see Cyborg nod his thanks.

Robin opens the gift and stares. His face goes red and whips around to face Cyborg.

"What?" Asks the feeling innocently.

Robin attempts to speak, but he seems incapable of producing sound. Beast Boy looks into the box and laughs.

"Dude! Nice." The changeling holds up the gift for everyone to see. A small list of websites. Fanfiction to be specific. The title of the list is "RobStar".

Raven sighs, and Starfire looks confused. She doesn't ask what it is however, not wanting to embarrassment her crush further.

The next two gifts do that just fine.

Raven's gift is surprising, but still extremely embarrassing.

It's a book. "How to see the obvious. A guide for the clueless male."

"I knew you could do it Rae." Beast Boy congratulates. Raven holds back a smile at Robin's enraged expression. "Just wait till he sees mine." The changeling whispers.

Robin wearily opens Beast Boy's gift. He stops cold. Seconds pass and the leader of the Titans still doesn't move.

Robin goes dashing from the room, face aflame.

"I knew he would like it." Beast Boy says proudly.

Cyborg peeks into the box and bursts out laughing. Tears run down his eyes as he clutches his stomach.

Raven's eyes narrow in suspicion. She levitates the box over to herself.

Looking inside reveals a set of women's undergarments. Starfire's by the looks of it.

Facepalm.

"Beast Boy..." Raven growls.

"Y-Yes?" The changeling croaks, looking slightly frightened.

"You forgot to put in a note explaining how to properly remove them."

Beast Boy looks at her in shock. His face stretches into a massive smile."Are you sure you're Raven?"

"Last time I checked. Yes."

The changeling laughs. "We all got him good, didn't we?"

"You bet." Cyborg chuckles, finally calming down. "I'll go get him a real present later."

"All three of us will." Raven says. Beast Boy nods his agreement.

"Does this mean I do not get to give my gift?" Starfire asks sadly.

"You can give it to him, just convince him to come back while your at it." Cyborg says. "He should calm down soon enough."

Starfire nods eagerly and bolts out the main doors, searching for her teammate. It doesn't take her long to find him. He retreated to his study.

Placing her gift up on the frame, she knocks on the door. "Robin? Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah." He stutters.

"Will you not come rejoin us? We await your return so that the gift unwrapping may continue."

"I just got made fun of AGAIN." He sighs. "It's always me who gets the gag gifts."

"That is because it is so easy to get a reaction out of you." Starfire explains bluntly. "But they mean well, and they always get you real gifts afterwards."

Robin opens the door.

"I suppose you're right." He says ruefully.

"Yes. Now, if you would please accept my gift."

Robin glances around in confusion. "Err, Star? Where-"

Starfire points above him. Robin turns his attention upward.

Mistletoe.

Classic.

Robin and Starfire rejoin the other Titans a minute later. Robin's face is even more red than before and Starfire can't seem to stop flying.

The others grin. That's one way to loosen up the mighty Robin.

"Not one word." Robin mutters upon seeing their looks. Starfire giggles, and eventually manages to settle next to him.

"You're up next Rae!" Beast Boy decides. Raven raises an eyebrow, she expected Beast Boy to insist on being first, but now he is willingly accepting being last.

Accepting his decision, Raven reaches for her first present. A small red package. Opening it, she finds it full of ingredients. Rare ones.

"Eye of witch, dragon scale, hydra acid! Where did you get all this?!" Raven asks incredulously.

"I have connections." Is the only answer Robin gives.

Raven shakes her head in amazement. She accepts Cyborg's present, a slightly larger parcel. Upon being opened, it reveals itself to be a gag gift.

A shock collar and a dog whistle.

Beast Boy lets out an "eep!" and cowers behind the couch.

Raven gives Cyborg a withering look. The half-robot just laughs it off.

"I'll get ya something else later Rae." He chuckles.

She shakes her head and takes Starfire's present. Unwrapping the gift shows two special candles, fashioned in the design of ravens.

"They are special candles, meant to aid in dampening magic." Starfire explains. "We had many of these on my planet. I presumed they might be of some help to you if you ever have a wish to express yourself without worry."

Raven tears up slightly. "Thank you Starfire."

"G-Guess that leaves mine." The changeling stutters. He hands the empath a smallish box with green wrapping paper.

Opening it, Raven can't help but smile a bit. For her, there is a nice mug with delicately painted designs on the top and bottom rims. (Hand-painted by Beast Boy, but she doesn't need to know that) That isn't the only thing in there though. Small, metal rings of different colors are also present in the box, each with a different word on them.

Happy.

Rude.

Rage.

Raven looks up at Beast Boy with a shake of her head. Her smile doesn't leave her face. Despite having told him multiple times, the changeling refuses to believe that her emoticlones aren't people in their own right.

Perhaps he is right, or perhaps he isn't. It is not something Raven bothered to look into.

Summoning her mirror, Raven dumps the eight rings into it. They phase through the surface and disappear. Snapping her fingers, the mirror is teleported back to her room.

The empath clutches her head slightly as her emoticlones stir up a ruckus.

Happy and Affection are bouncing off the walls, Brave is trying to get Raven to do something, Rude is at a loss for words, Knowledge is in a similar state, Timid is hugging the gift to her chest, humming contentedly, Sloth actually expended the energy to go pick up her ring and is now slumped back down on her couch, studying it, Rage is leaning back against a wall in her room, smiling; for once she isn't needed, and she prefers it that way.

Shaking her head clear, the empath focuses back on Beast Boy. It is his turn, there isn't any other reason; truly!

Beast Boy snatches Cyborg's gift from his hand and tears apart the wrapping. He smiles a great big smile.

"Dude, you rock." The changeling says proudly. He hefts his gift into the air: a small TV.

"Figured you need something to do when the rest of us are hogging the main screen." Cyborg says casually. "It also functions as a computer." The half-robot demonstrates by tapping a button on the side of the device and it splits in half to reveal a keyboard.

"Yeah baby! Beast Boy is online!" The changeling cries.

"Azarath help us all." Raven mutters sarcastically.

"Me!" Starfire giggles. She hands the changeling a small gift box.

Unwrapping it, the changeling feels sweat form on the back of his neck. "Uhh... Star?"

"Yes friend Beast Boy?"

"What's this?" He stares down at the plastic container holding an unidentified substance.

Starfire beckoned him close and whispers into his ear. "That is a potion of confidence. It makes it so that you feel like you can do anything. Such as confessing feelings." Starfire says the last part with a meaningful glance at Raven.

"I'll keep that in mind." Beast Boy says. 'Maybe I should get Robin to drink some.'

"Here." Robin says curtly. "It's not underwear, I promise." The dry tone makes Beast Boy cringe, but Robin's small smirk dispels any worry about hard feelings.

The gift isn't fancy, just some comic books. FIRST ARC, MILLION DOLLAR, JUSTICE SOCIETY COMIC BOOKS!

"Man, do I feel unworthy now." Beast Boy says in awe.

"I had a few lying around." Robin says in an offhand tone.

"Why do I find that hard to believe?" The changeling jokes. He reverently puts the comic books down.

"Thats your cue!" Affection shrieks in excitement. The emoticlones go completely silent as Beast Boy picks up his gift. A medium-sized box.

Despite the size of the gift, the only thing inside is a note.

"Everything goes dark at eight."

The changeling looks up to the empath in confusion. Raven looks at the clock.

7:59.

8:00.

The lights for the entire tower shut off. The Titans yell their surprise.

Beast Boy is silenced by a hand over his mouth. "Not one word." A raspy, monotone voice says.

The changeling is shocked to feel soft lips against his. The wonderful sensation lasts only a few seconds, but it is enough for the shapeshifter.

The lights snap back on. The three other Titans look around wearily. Beast Boy seems to be in a daze. Raven looks on passively, trying hard to stop her blush.

"Err... That was odd." Cyborg says. "A glitch in the system maybe?"

"Worry about it later Cy, I believe you mentioned a feast earlier?" Beast Boy asks, grinning.

'He's covering up the fact that no one else knows what my present was.' The empath thinks to herself. 'Smart. I should have planned for that.'

"Oh yeah baby, time for Cyborg's famous christmas feast!" The half-robot cries. A platform lowers from the ceiling and deposits numerous dishes onto the table. "Dig in everyone!"

"Happy holidays all around!" Is the cry from the tower.

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><p><strong>One-shot complete. Pardon any OOC, suspension of disbelief please. Hope you enjoyed it, Robin got mocked, Beast Boy got surprised, and Cyborg got a once in a lifetime opportunity. The two girls had equally amazing times. <strong>

**Happy holidays everyone.**


End file.
